22 things that I haven’t learned in 22 years.

 

Yes, you read that right. I said HAVEN’T learned. Because with all of the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the past 22 years, there’s actually a lot of shit that I don’t know. Yes, I realize that may come as a shock to some of you. To my mom, probably not as much. But seriously!! Turning 22 has made me feel old!! Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m growing up way too fast. Years used to last so much longer, but now I look back and all the days in a year seem to blur together.

And in the grand scheme of things, I suppose 22 really isn’t a lot. It’s not a lot of minutes in a day. It’s not that many blades of grass. And it’s definitely not enough Cheetos for one serving. So, in the name of delicious cheesy chips, I decided to flip the narrative. I can easily name 22 things that I’ve learned over the years and even in this past year. But what about 22 things that I still don’t know?? Now THERE’S a way to get some perspective.

Here are some things I’m still working on.

  1. APPLYING SUNSCREEN: Not that hard of a concept, I know. The execution, however, IMPOSSIBLE. Please don’t come for me about wrinkles and skin cancer. That much I have learned. Regardless of knowledge, the actual prevention plan is still a work in progress.

  2. PROCRASTINATION: Really self explanatory. I am happy to report that in line with being among the world’s worst procrastinators, I have recently learned that procrastination is not a personality trait. Which was honestly quite a disappointment considering the amount of times I’ve pulled that out of my back pocket as my excuse for waiting until the last minute. So apparently I can re-teach myself not to be a procrastinator? Eh, I’ll start tomorrow.

  3. THE CONCEPT OF TIME: Hand-in-hand with procrastinating, the concept of time is genuinely lost on me. I close my eyes at night and seven hours passes in like 20 minutes. I leave my house with 15 minutes to drive somewhere that is only 15 minutes away, only to end up arriving 15 minutes late. Confused? Because yeah, me too.

  4. VIDEO GAMES: I simply don’t understand it. Someone please explain.

  5. HOW TO DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE: An ode to me crashing Zach’s motorcycle four days ago. And to be honest, crash is a pretty heavy word for it. I might opt for something closer to tipped or dropped instead. Whatever you decide to call it, the road rash and bruises hurt just the same.

  6. SHUTTING UP: this is something I’m ACTIVELY working on. Sometimes I’ll catch myself in a conversation that is completely one-sided; meaning, I haven’t stopped talking long enough to let the other person get a word in. And honestly, that’s a pretty great thing about this blog. I don’t have to let you talk.

  7. CHANGING A CAR TIRE: My step-dad insisted on teaching me how to do this. I refused and here we are.

  8. ANYTHING SKIN CARE RELATED: I use a bar of Dove soap and only wash my face in the shower. Anything beyond that is officially out of my limited perimeter of skincare knowledge. And to be completely honest, I’m kind of okay with it. It’s gotten me this far and has also probably saved me a bit of money.

  9. COOKING (WHAT IS MEAT?): The air fryer has been a godsend. So has the husband.

  10. CUTTING MYSELF SLACK vs BEING LAZY: These two things get so mixed up in my head. It can be really hard for me to differentiate when resting or taking a break from work or trying to set boundaries becomes laziness. Is it a matter of time spent? Or determining the right timing for cutting yourself slack? Or am I just overthinking it? So many questions and 22 years has not given me the answers.

  11. HOW TO END AN EMAIL: Is ‘sincerely’ still a thing? Sometimes I say ‘thanks’ or default to ‘best’. But is ending an email with ‘best’ really the best I can do? I liked ‘warmly’ for a while. But oddly enough, the more I thought about it, the more it reminded me of peeing your pants? (Don’t ask, I really don’t know.) Honestly, there are some days that I just put a little smiley face at the end of every email I write. And I’m quite serious when I say, that’s the one I’m leaning towards the most at this point.

  12. ADMITTING WHEN I’M WRONG: Who wants to be wrong? That’s no fun.

  13. BEING PRESENT: It’s not that I haven’t learned this one. I would just say that I’m not very good at it most of the time. My mind - especially lately - has been moving at a million miles a minute. I’m always thinking about what else needs to get done or what I’m gonna be eating for lunch or if there is something else I should be thinking about than what I’m thinking about in any given moment. Isn’t the point of living to soak up every moment that you’re living?

  14. WHAT FOOD TO ORDER: I always pick something gross. With the exception of my birthday dinner this year - which Zach deemed as one of his favorite meals of his life. Which also resulted in one of the proudest moments of MY life.

  15. HOW TO PLUNG A TOILET: Would I be wrong to say…. that’s what men are for?

  16. WHO I AM: Something I’m not sure any of us really know or fully develop. I mean, we are each complex and made up of so many moving parts. We like so many different things and love even more things. There are so many things that many of us haven’t tried or even thought about trying. Not to mention the voices of others that can get in the way. It’s scary and it’s vulnerable, and quite frankly, I haven’t really gotten there yet.

  17. ENGLISH GRAMMAR: I used to be an absolute grammar freak. Constantly being THAT person who corrected spelling and grammar and all the things. But since I am now a) less uptight than I used to be and b) not in school, my understanding of grammar in the english language has exponentially decreased. Among further vs. farther, the oxford comma debate and ‘I’ before ‘E’, I’ve decided that if what you are saying makes sense, it’s good enough. And don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I misuse grammar on purpose because I like it better that way.

  18. LETTING GO: I hold on so tight to things sometimes. How things used to be, what life is “supposed” to look like, a card I received on my 10th birthday. It can make your hands hurt to clench things so hard your knuckles turn white.

  19. DRESSING MYSELF: I feel like this one kind of goes hand-in-hand with figuring out who you are. Personal style and finding clothes that light me up and serve my body well has been a struggle. My short shopping attention span definitely doesn’t help in this regard. I am actually trying to be experimental with my clothes instead of just wearing the same pair of sweats for five days in a row and calling it good. It’s definitely a work in progress though.

  20. HOW TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: I’m okay not knowing how to play the bass (which I briefly picked up in the sixth grade). However, mom was right when she told me I’d regret quitting the piano. It’s never too late to learn though!

  21. I AM GULLIBLE AS F*CK: I prefer the term trusting.

  22. HOW TO BE 22: I never really know how to be 21 either. Or 20. Or any other age really. Who really does though? We all just kinda figure it out as we go, right??

If theres one thing I HAVE learned, it’s how to share my french fries. (How many of you can say THAT?) Oh, and I’ve learned that I don’t have to have everything figured out. That’s the purpose of getting older. In 22 more years, I’ll probably have a brand new list. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to know, as long as you’re always working to learn and grow.

 
Alyssa Roundy Phillips